A fogged mind, fatigue and diziness due to medication and a toddler jumping from the dinning table so much for the reflection on life. How I thought this disease will allow me the time to reflect but my toddler reminded me that it's not possible.
Well, a few reality checks I guess we mothers of toddler's should always consider before we try to do anything.
Myth 1 REST:
Yes my dear rest so needed but who said you'll get it. Even with all the food been taken care of. The little being called toddler will not let you have the much needed medicine you need at this crucial time for your health. Either he needs his bottle to be filled with milk exactly at the time you crush on the bed or water or just wants to play slide on your legs. Nope no reasoning helps with this one and the more you reason the less reasonable you sound. Even when your head feels fooggy and your mind all bloated from medication you only sleep when this tiny individual decides when you can.
Myth 2 Reflect:
So much for reflection in the past two days. Every time you take a pen and paper there is always a tragedy waiting to happen. Your tiny being either wants to try to examine his new found super powers from jump ing down a dinning table or chair or just decides to give himself a bath all by himself. Or cook a meal for mom by pulling out every existing utensil in the kitchen. And all you could do is sit down and ponder upon the amount of energy and effort you put behind this tiny human.
Myth 3 :Read
Yep I thought I would finish a book in this time. Just imagine the scene in bed with my hot tea and book. Well it's perfect only for a dream for now as my little being wants the book all to himself. He wants to write and wreck havoc to it. Or he brings in his books to be read in bed and pops the most annoying question when you have a head ache (yea kya hai??).So reading off the list too.
Myth 4 Listening:
I have always had these morning azkar Or surahs I wish to memorize play at the background whenever I am resting I just love the serene and peaceful environment around it. But even that isnt possible cause he takes away the phone and wants his favourite thing to play on it. No guesses COCOMELON.!!!
Sorry but thats the harsh reality of a mothers life. We are on duty all the time covid no covid so how do you take care of yourself in this mayhem.
One accepting this mayhem is going to last in your life for the next 4 5 years. Let go of the expectations, even when you are ill. If you are able to just pray 5 times a day with your fever and fatigue consider it a victory.
I know it feels like a battle field, even I collapsed and asked my husband why doesn't Allah make mothers immune to disease when we have to be on our toes 24/7.
And he said that's why heaven lies beneath a mothers feet. The greater the responsibility the greater the ajar.
I might have made this post more longer with more rants of my son but this mindset made me stop instantly.
The fact that I expected my children to sympathize with my condition wasn't justified. Yes my older ones knew my condition but not my son for him he wants his mother just like every normal day.
And that leads me to the biggest lesson I learned during this period
1.Whatever you are doing for your children expect the ajar from Allah, even during their greatest tantrum when you are sick.
2.Gratitude for them being in your life. Yes,it's good to hear but sometimes it feels the other way around no guilt tripping here. It was only when I heard stories of other moms who had tested positive along with their children I started appreciating this more. Appreciating the fact he was healthy and eager to mess around.
For many of us this phase is difficult but I hope you believe in the light at the end of the tunnel. It's going to be over soon sister,as with every stage of your life
You got this!!
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