Fairy Tale wedding

FAIRY TALES

    What are fairy tales? A princess or a maiden in distress and a prince rescues her and brings her to a happily ever after . These stories are fed to our children since childhood. Why only our children, even we too were fed with all these notions from different sources of the media.

And now, in this age of social media, you have this notion of a fairy tale wedding that’s popping up all around. We have a huge market to cater to these weddings. The palace-like venues, the lavish dinner , the huge guest list, the dresses and not to forget to capture all these moments photographers.
But does any of these assure you of a better life ahead? Does having an extravagant wedding  give you the life partner who will hold your hand for the rest of your life? 

MUSLIM WEDDINGS OF THIS AGE:

Being a Muslim I can’t help but analyze where our ummah is heading towards. Late night weddings have become a norm especially in the city of nawabs. If people have to go to work the next day,it’s not their headache. You see mothers dangling with little infants in their arms all of whom have been kept awake beyond their sleeping hours School going kids either have to skip the function or school. And the most amazing aspect of all this is no one is present during the nikah. The heart of a Muslim wedding, especially women. No one has time to hear the qutbah  of the Nikah. They are all busy  to keep an appointment at the parlor.

The bride and the bridegroom sign the papers  not even understanding what the essentials if nikah are. And after all this, we complain about the high rates of divorces happening in the community.

IMPORTANCE OF NIKAH:

In the glitz and glamour of the fairy tale wedding, the soul of the wedding is lost. It has become a mere paper signing ritual.

The call for a simpler nikah is being given by the ulema for quite a long time but it needs to get into the society we live in. And it can only be done when we make our kids understand the importance of it. The nikah is an easy act, an act to make the society a respectable and honorable place. Marriage is a sacred institution and when we make it difficult, we see the morals of the society crumbling.

As a mother of three daughters, people give me a sympathetic look. They constantly nag on my husband to secure his daughter's wedding investment as he has three daughters. A super contrast to the hadith.

 The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said,

“Whoever has two daughters and treats them kindly, they will be a protection for him against the Fire.”

The same applies if he has sisters or paternal or maternal aunts etc., and he treats them kindly, we hope that he will attain Paradise for that. For when he treats them kindly, he deserves a great reward and to be protected from the Fire, so he will be kept away from the Fire because of his good deed. 

Why don’t people advise us on raising a daughter Islamically than advising on securing her wedding investment?

As parents to the next generation of this ummah, it’s our responsibility to work collectively in restoring the value of Nikah. Since young age, we have to make our children understand that fairy tales aren’t real. There is no prince or princess. Their fairy tale lies in their hands.

No one is perfect, there is no perfect wife or husband or a perfect relation. You have it built it. There will be fights, tears, disappointments as there will be moments to cherish.

SIMPLIFY WEDDINGS:

A wedding is not just a two-day grand affair. It’s an agreement between two mature adults, an agreement where they decide to become each other’s companions in sorrow or happiness. Yes, it needs to be celebrated but in accordance with the sunnah.

This cannot be done when we as parents take our children to these lavish weddings and when they grow old, we stop them saying it’s not in accordance with the sunnah. We need to inculcate the importance of sunnah at a very early age. Make them understand the value of a simplified wedding.

The first step in their new chapter of life can’t begin with displeasing Allah, it should always begin with pleasing him.